So the boys got together and formed a band...uh, f'fate played

								the straight man, and since then they've never looked back... 


        A  G/A


        D/A                E/A               A
        You, lads, welcome to t'Club B, I've seen you 

        on t'telly with your long 

        G/A                D/A       E/A
        hair and pimples. (pop pop) 


             A                        E
        We arrived at the gig looking rough 

            G                    D
        Not happy, we'd all had enough 

           F                  A            F  A 
        Of eight hours on the road (honk!) 

             F                 
        Legs Larry said, eeh, "It's the boozer for me, 

                     

        dear boy." 
        G
        Yup, yup, yes indeedy 

                A                   E
        And the hotel reception was empty and cold 

              G                   D
        With `orrid red wallpaper forty years old 

           F                  A        F  A
        It stank like a rhino house! 

            F 
        Mr. Slater said, "Pooh, I can smell Vindaloo."

             G                               A
        "Oh, really?" "No, Sir, O'Reilly!" 


        Hobnob

               A           G          D E
        And we wave to the people who frown 

               A          G         D A
        At our hair as we ride into town 



       (Instr: A  G  D  E  A  G  D  E)


            A                   E
        And Chalky and Nozz had set up the gear 

               G                        D
        At the club where the "Dohl Pal Show" would 


        appear 

           F             A 
        In person as themselves (oarf! oarf!) 

           F             A
        In person as themselves 

              F 
        "Then Neil, Fred, and I played darts for 


         awhile." 

           G                                         A
        "Before we switched on our theatrical smiles!"

                              
        "Hey, you remember!" 



       (Instr: G/B  D  A/E  A  G/B  D  A/E
                            A  G/B  D  A/E)


        A                      G/B
        Hot dogs on sale in t' foyer

        D        A/E
        Hey...

        A                            G/B
        You can have a drink in your dressing rooms,

                            D
        lads, but you can't come 

                               A/E
        into club looking like that. We can't oblige. 

        A
        Thank you.

        G/B            D  A/E
        Hey, Redneck! 

                                A        G/B
        We've had `em all `ere, you know, Tommy Ray. 

            D
        Oh, aye? 

        A/E                           A
        That's a brand new scratch on the piano, cost

              G/B
        you75 quid to put that right. 

        D
        Whoa, who did that? 

             A/E                    A
        Aye, remember Frank Fesher

                G/B
        And Buddy Greece! 

        D
        Aye! 

        A/E                      A
        Put off thought really, `ere, doesn't it? 

              G/B
        Whoa, what? 

                                              D
        Will you take your empty glasses back t'bar? 

        A/E         A                           G/B
        Any artiste mentioning football will be paid 

                         D
        off immediately. 

        A/E      A
        Hoover

        G/B                                D
        It's not for meself, lads, it's for me 

                  A/E
        daughter. 

        A                    G/B            D   A/E
        Five pints of lager, and one Coke! 

                           A
        It's not me, lads, it's t'manager what makes 


        t'rules.